


Last Hope

by Angel110



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-13 11:01:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5705152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel110/pseuds/Angel110
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I lost my husband two months ago. He was the sweetest and kindest being on earth. I was lucky to have been married to him. My beautiful Zelo ... He did not run away or whatever you may think right now. He was taken from me, violently. The worst of all this was: His corpse has never been found. The only traces of this horrible act have been hints of a fight and lots of blood. Too much blood for him to still be alive, said the police. There were no traces of the bastard that did that to him, the police was totally clueless and was investigating in all directions, yet into none that was helpful. <br/>It all happened while I was on a longer business trip in the States. I will tell you something in private, it's only between me and you, okay? <br/>Okay, so ... I know, it might sound strange but I am completely sane, I swear! I can feel my husband around me. As if he is still alive and calling for me, that he misses me and wants to be with me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

_'Ladies and gentlemen, we have started our descent for landing, please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright position. Make sure your seat belt is securely fastened and all carry-on luggage is stowed underneath the seat in front of you or in the overhead bins. Please turn off all electronic devices until we are safely parked at the gate. The flight attendants are currently passing around the cabin to pick up any remaining cups and glasses.'_

_Finally, after three weeks in the States, I will see my beautiful flower again. Sure, we skyped every day that I had a free second despite the time difference but it was not the same. I will finally be able to hold him in my arms again and take in his scent, kiss his lips and watch him fall asleep in my arms every night again. Also, the last two weeks we only texted each other because I had very busy days and many meetings during this time, so I am even more happy to finally see him again._

_Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. I am Bang Yongguk, 24 years of age, working internationally in the finance branch and happily married to said flower, who is my beautiful Junhung or just Zelo how I like to call him since we were kids._

_I am wearing a bright smile about my lips and some of the other passengers are staring at me weirdly but I cannot hide my happiness. It has been hard to get Zelo to marry me, I tell you. And I won't ever let go of him again. Business trips are the worst, but I need to take them to make us a good living. Zelo has a job too, at our home office but to be able to spoil my flower, I needed a well-paid job even if that means to go to foreign countries now and then. It is also lots of fun and I always make Zelo nice gifts about which he freaks out like a little child._

_My Zelo is so adorable at times, despite the fact that he looks pretty manly and towers even my size. I love him so much._

_Finally, we are lading and I can't wait to take my seat belt off and run outside to meet my flower who is patiently waiting for me and probably just as excited as I am._

_We are allowed to take off our seat belts and take our luggage to leave the plane. To be honest, I am pretty tired after a 16 hours direct flight but the thought of embracing my flower in only a few seconds is keeping me wide awake._

_I get off the plane with the same wide grin and hurry back inside the halls of the airport, my flower should be waiting at the main entrance, so I just need to go through the checks and hurry there. And surprisingly or luckily, it doesn't take long for me to get through the security other than the other times before._

“ _Flower, I am coming.“ I whisper to myself and walk quickly to the main entrance but even after a few times of looking around, I can't find him. With a frown I get out my phone and turn it on again to text him._

_'Flower, I am at the airport, where are you? I know it's quite early for your standards but you said you'd be waitig here for me :'( '_

_-'Sorry, love … I kind of missed the alarm, I even set it three times! I am sorry, but I can't make it to the airport … See you at home and be safe <3 :*'_

_I sigh a bit disapointed, now I need to wait an hour more because the taxis are usually hard to get at this time and the ride from the airport back to our house will take around half an hour plus/minus 15 minutes depending on the traffic …_

_'Okay … Can't wait to see and hug you and kiss you <3'_

_-'Can't wait either, love.'_

_I smile nevertheless and leave the airport to get a taxi and it seems as if luck is on my side because I quickly get on a taxi and even traffic isn't as bad as I thought._

_After 40 minutes I get home and pay the taxi driver before taking my luggage and happily going to the front door, which I open quickly before stepping in and calling my husband. “Flow-“_

_I widen my eyes as I realize how the insides of our house look. Everything is a mess. It looka like a fight had happened, I don't even recognize our own hallway. “F-flower?“_

_First tears start to gather in my eyes as I see droplets of blood on the floor of our hallway and they lead me to the living room where I break down, fall on my knees and freeze in shock as I try to process the image in front of me._

_Our once beautifully decorated Living room, a total mess. Our huge wedding picture, destroyed on the floor, our furniture, our belongings, all of them out of place. I lift my hands to my face again: What I see? Lot's of blood and it's the blood of my husband, I am sure of it, our living room is painted with it._

_I fist our once fluffy carpet on which we loved to cuddle in the evenings and which is now painted in a dark red of which almost everything is dried already. Then I scream loud and painful and the next thing I remember is that I wake up in a white hospital room, someone telling me that my husband most probably became a victim of a horrible crime and then me blacking out again._

 

 

Until today, two months later, there are still no traces of the murderer of my beautiful flower and all I have of him are his pictures and belongings. His wedding ring though … it has never been found. Moreover, who have I texted with the entire time?

'I am still here, Gukkie. You are not alone.' There is it again, this voice in my head, telling me that he, my flower is still alive. I can't tell anyone, they will stuff me into a psychiatric clinic and I can't leave this house, I can't leave my flower.


	2. Chapter One

 

_2013/07/16_

 

_Dear Diary,_

_today something terrible happened. I can't talk about it with anyone, so the only way not to choke on what memories will be trapped inside, I will write down whatever sad or bad things will happen and that I don't want to or simply cannot share with Yongguk. You see, this happening today left such a great ipact on me that I decided to start a diary. I am sure, there will be plenty of things in the future that I won't be able to tell my husband._

_It's not because I don't trust him, he means the world to me. I just don't want to bother him. He is so busy and always trying his best to keep me happy, I don't ever want to destroy this happiness, I don't want to wash away this smile on his lips that I love so much._

_Dear diary, I am scared … A lot. Yongguk just left for another business trip and I am here, alone in our big bedroom and writing inside you with all lights switched on. I don't want it to become dark. If it gets dark, he will come back and get me He said, he will come back and he will make me his._

_I only met with him because we used to be good friends. I let him into mine and Yongguk's house. Why did I do that? He threatened me with a knife because I didn't want to kiss him. I told him, I am happy with Yongguk, that we are married. He freaked out, I was so scared._

_He left when he saw the fera on my face and my tears. That's the only protection I have against him, he can't see me cry. He never could._

_After he left, I went to the bathroom, curled up and cried loudly. Then I washed my face and tried to look good again for Yongguk who would pass by to get his luggage and kisses before he would leave again. I also prepared food for him to take with him and eat during the ride to the airport._

_He didn't notice anything, I lied to my husband about feeling good and nothing out of the ordinary having happened today. I feel so terrible._

_Dear diary, Yongguk is calling me, I have to stop writing now. I should try to sleep after talking to him. Thank you for letting me tell you this. We will talk again when I need you._

_Zelo_

 

 

This is the first time that I see this book. This is also the first time that I read about this incident. Zelo hid it well from me, just now he wanted me to find it. He led me to it. He is talking to me every day since the day I was released from the hospital. My flower is still there. He told there was something important hidden in a romance book. One of those that I would never touch, good hiding place, my flower.

But why did you never tell me anything about it? You suffered so much .. All those pages you filled, you had so much on your heart and didn't share it with me. Who is this who threatened you, my flower?

 

 

 

_2013/07/28_

 

_Dear Diary,_

… …

…

_I felt followed today. But whenever I turned around there was no one. I am only imagining things, right? I am only too stressed and miss Gukkie, right?_

_Please, tell me I am safe, diary._

 

 

 

 

_2013/09/04_

 

_Dear Diary,_

… … …

… …

…

_It's getting worse. I am receiving anonymous letters. Every time that Yongguk is not here. I am hiding them well from him and some I am burning immediately after receiving them. He threatens to do someting to Gukkie._

_And the letter that I received today, it was written with his own blood. I threw up after reading it. I thought it was some red marker. He is so disgusting, diary._

_Protect me from him and protect Yongguk for me, okay? I don't want to lose him._

 

 

I am biting my lips hard, tears are already falling onto the pages as I read the words that clearly show my flower's fear. And I never once noticed anything. It is all my fault. I am so sorry, love. You died because of me, I am so sorry. If I had looked after you more … You would still be alive and in my arms.

“No, don't say that It is my fault. I should have asked you more. I should have noticed that you were not well. I am so sorry.“ I started to sob as almost every day since my flower's death. He is talking to me a lot these days but it won't bring him back alive into my arms.

 

 

_2015/09/12_

 

Probably the day before he died …

 

 

_Dear Diary,_

_I am so scared. He called me today, he said this time he is serious and he will get me and then he will do things to me. Diary, I am so scared. Yongguk will only come back in eight days. He won't be here to protect me, so you need to protect me._

_No! I need to hide you well, diary. I heard something. I can feel that he is here. Please, tell Gukkie that I love him and am endlessly sorry._

_Goodbye,_

_Flower_

 

 

This is the end of me. I am blacking out again.

 


	3. Chapter 3

_I am waiting in front of the restaurant for Zelo. It is nothing out of the ordinary, in fact it is a very simple Korean restaurant with cheap and traditional meals but that is all I can afford. I really hope Zelo won't think as a loser of me and this date will go well. I am determined to ask him to be become my boyfriend today._

_I am so nervous that I am shaking all over, I almost can't feel my legs anymore. Hopefully, he does not think I am overdressed or look weir. Usually, I wear wide and cool clothes that my mom handmakes for me but for today I am actually wearing a pair of black, quite skinny pants and my only pearl white dress shirt that I own. It is a special occasion after all._

_My heart is also beating so fast that I am imaging, people around me can hear it. It only beats so fast for Zelo, my flower how I secretly like to call him because he is as pretty and fragile as a flower, despite his impressive height. I have liked him for a while now but I wanted to make sure he likes me back before I ask him out and it really seems that he does so because he always gets so shy around me, it's so adorable._

_Oh god, I can see him walking over to me. Just stay cool, Yongguk. “Zelo, great you came. How are you? You look amazing.“_

_He looks as breathtaking as always, black skinny jeans, a black dress shirt and a silver necklace, his blonde dyed hair styled perfectly and it seems like he used tints of makeup this time which he rarely does but I can still see his slight blush that is forming on his cheeks._

“ _Wow, Gukkie! What happened to you?“ He gasps slightly as he looks me up and down closely which makes me feel more nervous to be honest. “Where did you dig out those clothes? They look great on you. You should wear something like this more often.“_

_I smile a bit embarrassed and shrug my shoulders as he surprisingly hugs me tight and only lets go after a few seconds. The blush on his cheeks grows a bit darker and I just want to kiss his beautiful lips now. “Well … I had this in my closet somewhere. Glad, that you like it. Wanna go inside?“_

“ _Sure.“ Zelo nods smiling and I sneakily take his hand in mine and intertwine our fingers as we go inside, I don't dare to look at him but he slightly squeezes my hand, so he doesn't seem to mind it and it feels good. But I need to let go of his hand as we sit at a table and an ahjumma comes to welcome us and asks us for what we want to have to drink while we look through the menu._

“ _I will have some water, and you, Zelo?“ I look at him smiling and again he is so shy, I just want to take him home and cuddle and kiss him lots._

“ _Uhm … A water too for me.“ Zelo smiles shyly and the ahjumma nods and goes to get us the water as I take the menu and look through it._

“ _Hmm … I am in the mood for Jjajjangmyeon and you?“ I face him again and it seems like he can't look me in the eyes, it's so adorable how he is suddenly so shy._

“ _I think, I will take Kimchi Jjigae.“_

_I nod and order both dishes after the ahjumma brought us our water. There is actually nothing much to say about the rest of the evening. It's spent mostly silent as it is hard to build a conversation and I just smile like an idiot at Zelo's behavior, so cute really. After we are both full, I pay for us both although Zelo insists to pay on his own but in the end I am faster and give the ahjumma the amount of money for both of us._

“ _I could have paid on my own.“ Zelo just sulks as we leave the restaurant hand in hand again and I stop a few meters away with him._

“ _I can't make my date pay for himself.“ I smile at him, a bit shyly though. Again, I can see his cheeks darken and he directs his gaze to the ground._

“ _Th-this was a date?“ He whispers and I lift his chin to look him in the eyes and nod with a smile. He looks back shyly and I can't wait anymore. I close my eyes and close the distance of our faces as I press my lips on his gently. He squeezes my hand a bit tighter and I can feel him shiver slightly. After a few seconds I pull back and want to look at him but he doesn't give me that chance and hugs me, burying his face into the crook of my neck._

“ _Will you be my boyfriend, flower?“ I ask him softly and caress his hair. He doesn't reply, maybe he can't but feeling him nod is enough of an answer for me and I hug him back tighter._

“ _You know, you are so adorable like this.“ I am smiling like an idiot and feel him shake his head. “Yes, you are.“_

 

 

Our first date … It was so cute and perfect and many others followed until I finally asked him to marry me just when gay marriage became legal in South Korea in 2011. After finding the diary I was shocked as to what my flower had to go through for two years and how I never noticed anything.

Right now, the diary is lying in front of me on the living room table and all I can do right now is to think back to the happy times with my flower, wishing he would still be alive and we could go on another date. This is the only way to keep myself calm and sane right now.

How could I never noticce … This sick bastard, I just want to find him and kill him with my own hands and I want to ask him where he brought my flower so I can finally give him the memorial he deserves, so I can finally say goodbye to him for real.

I sigh deeply and choose to hide the diary first as it rings on the door. Who could that be? All my friends text me first to ask me if it is okay to visit me.

I put the diary away and go to the door to open it. “Oh Yongguk, I heard from Minah what happened. I am so sorry. My deep condolences. Is there anything I can do for you?“

He hugs me tight and as he says those words I really need to try hard not to start crying again and hug him back as tight. “Thank you … Come in. Do you want a coffee?“

 


	4. Chapter 4

 “Sure. Only if you have got some time though. I just thought you would be happy about some company but if I'm a bother to you right now just tell me and I will come another day.“ I shake my head and force a smile before stepping aside for him to enter. I am glad about every company I can get as long as they don't talk about my husband. Yet, Himchan gives me an uneasy feeling by his presence only and I suddenly get very cold.

“It's been a while since we last met. How are you doing, Himchannie?“ I lead him to the living room and offer him a seat while I go to our connected kitchen and prepare two coffees for us.

“I am doing pretty well, my patients don't want to leave me anymore, even after I declare them as almost entirely healed and that they don't need to come for treatment anymore. What about you?“ Himchan chuckles. He is a well-known psychologist for children and teenagers, in exceptions for adults as well. I thought about asking him for a therapy a lot but in the end I always drop those thoughts.

“I am glad to hear that. I cancelled my business trips for a while and only work here in Busan in my home office. I am not in the mood to travel anywhere for now.“ I smile at him and walk back to him, handing him his coffee with extra sugar and cream before sitting down next to him. “Here you go.“

“Oh … Look, Gukkie. If you ever need someone to talk about what happened, I am here for you. Not as a psychologist but as your friend, okay?“ Himchan smiles at me and places his hand on my knee. I shiver for a moment, it's been so long that I have been touched, so I might be a bit oversensitive right now. I nod and smile back after taking a sip of my coffee.

There is a moment of silence between us but strangely I feel good with his presence again and comfortable while he caresses my knee comfortingly. I look down and try to hold back my tears again. I don't know what is suddenly coming over me but it feels like I am about to burst any second. The emotional stress is way too much for me, I know that but yet I don't seek any help and pretend to be coping well with everything in front of friends.

Himchan sets his coffee down and takes the almost empty cup from me too. Then he takes me into his arms and without me really noticing I am already cying like a baby in his arms but it feels good for once. Crying has never felt as good as this time. I have a warm body to lean on and not the empty pillow that once smelled like my flower.

Himchan doesn't say anything and just lets me cry and strokes my back comfortingly. I hesitate for a moment but eventually grab two fistfuls of his shirt and press him closer to me, needing every warmth I can get.

“I-I miss him so much, H-himchannie.“ I manage to get out through hiccups and sobs and he gives me a kiss on my hair.

“I know, I know. But he will be always in your heart, okay? He never really left you.“ _'Don't trust him, he is a big liar,'_ says a voice in my head suddenly and I could have sworn it was my flower's.

I nod and slowly let go of him with a slight smile as I wipe my tears away, that are quickly replaced by new tears. “I'm sorry for that o-outburst. I don't know what got into me.“

He just shakes his head with a smile. “I think that was long needed. You know, when you need a shoulder to lean on and cry on, just call me.“

I nod and hug him again as a thank you. “You have a day off today, I guess? I haven't worked out in a long time, my muscles are disappearing. Wanna go to the gym?“

He nods and drinks the rest of his coffee. “Sure, but I have no gym clothes with me.“

“You can have some from mine. We have almost the same height.“ I wipe the rest of my tears and stand up to go upstairs to get the gym clothes. “I will go get a bag for us.“

_'He is a liar.'_

_'Don't trust him.'_

_'He will hurt you.'_

_'You are mine, Yongguk-ah.'_

“Don't talk nonsense. He is good for me. I need some distraction. Do you really think, I'd cheat on you?“ Of course this voice belongs to my flower but he used to speak to me through pictures in my head, not really through words. It is strange to hear his voice after so long again. As if he is standing beside me.

“Who are you talking to, Gukkie?“ I gasp and turn around only to see Himchan behind me. I laugh awkwardly and try to mask my embarrassment.

“O-oh, only to myself. I am almost done. Could you get the bag from under the bed for me?“ I ask him with a smile as I get two pairs of shirts and shorts for us. “I also have some spare shoes for you that you can use if yu don't mind. I only wore them three times or so.“

“Great, thanks.“ Himchan hands me the bag before sitting down on the bed and smiling up at me while I put everthing into the bag. The way he looks at me, it's almost as if my flower would look at me.

“Ready, let's go. Are you here with my car or should we take mine?“ I get my shoes and put them on as we go downstairs again.

“I left my car at home, so lets take yours.“ I nod. Then we get ready and leave. I hope after this day I will feel a bit at ease for just a moment.


	5. Chapter Four

 The day with Himchan has been unbelievably refreshing and I have been surprised how fit he is and that I need to work out more again as well. Though … my flower has been quiet ever since after I spent the day with Himchannie. He doesn't react to any of my calls and I cannot even feel his presence anymore. Have I done anything wrong?

I sigh and take the diary into my hands again. Today, I am too lazy or rather not in the mood to get up and so I am still lying in my bed, only wearing my boxers and not even knowing the time. I should make copies of the important pages and try to examine them closely. Maybe it has some important hints that can lead me to the murderer of my flower.

I reach into my drawer and get out a note pad first. My flower has given it to me one day, it has a lamb on the cover and is really cute. Since this is related to my flower I can use it now. “Let's see. He should be around the same age as us, he is older than Zelo and and slightly smaller than him. He seems to be an intelligent person.

I decided to make the copies first and get up to go to my printer and copy all pages of the diary. After sitting back oto my bed and getting sticky notes and a marker from my drawer, I collext all important information and also color the dates on that my flower made the entries.

Frowining, I get my laptop and check the dates of my business trips and yes, I am right. All that happened while I was on my business trips. Is the murderer someone who is close to us? Who knnew about my trips? There is no other eplanation for that. I should go to the police with my observations.

Now I really have to get up. While getting dressed I think a lot about my flower; whether the culprit will ever get found, whether his corpse will ever be found and whether he will ever get the fneral that he deserves; and with a sigh, I try to call him again. “Flower, are you here? Why are you not talking to me anymore? Have I done something wrong?“

As I don't get any kind of reply after five minutes, I sigh and leave the house with the notes and copies in my business bag. I get into my car and drive to the police.

Once there, I rush inside and ask for the resposible officer to whom I get led soon after. Luckily, he has time for me and can see me for a moment.

“So, what is it, Yongguk? Any new hints? Assumptions? How are you doing lately?“ I am pretty glad that I have such a nice police officer, he comforted me and didn't pressure me much in the beginning. He knew well that I needed time unlike other officers who are very insensitive about that.

“I am pretty good for once, thank you. This is why I came here.“ I hand Mr. Jang the copies of the diary and the original. “I took copies as you can see and also examine some parts more closely. I want to take the original home again, but you can take a look for a moment if you wat.“

He takes them and takes a closer look with a hum. “Perfect. Good job. Don't worry, Yongguk-ah we will get this bastard soon. I assure you that.“

“Thank you. Sadly, we don't have the death penalty anymore ...“ I sigh and the officer pats my shoulder.

“He will get a high sentence nevertheless, I promise. Do you have any other hints? Could it be someone around your friends and relatives? Someone who could have had a special interest in your husband?“ He scams the diary after putting the copies aside for a moment.

I shake my head. “No, and trust me if I knew you would find me at that bastard's place about to kill him.“

“I understand what's going on inside you, Yongguk but please, promise me one thing: Don't, under any circumstances, try to do anything on your own. I don't want things to go hard on you and I don't want you to be charged for murder, okay? Because then you would be no better than this bastard.“ I sigh but nod, he is right. I couldn't let emotions take over me, I had to keep a clear mind.

“Promise.“ I murmur as he looks at me expectantly and gives me the diary back.

“Good, no go and relax. I will call you as soon as I have any news for you. You can email me a list of all your relatives and friends with their telephone numbers and addresses, okay?“

“Okay … Thanks, Mr. Jang.“ I stand up and bow, turning to leave with another sigh. At home I try to calm myself down. Shoot, I forgot to ask how they could have overlooked something so important and not really small evidence. Well, I can do that after having finished the list, Officer Jang asked me for.

But first, I want to call Himchan and tell him from the news. I totally forgot. I dial his number and wait for him to pick up. I hope, I am not disturbing a therapy right now. “Himchannie, it's me, Guk~ I need to tell you something, do you have a moment?“

“Always for you. What's up?“ I can practically hear his wide grin. This guy is never in a bad mood, really.

“A few days ago, I found Zelo's diary. I didn't even know he had one and he was stalkked over months. It seems that the stalker is the murderer and that he knew whenever I wasn't at home and harassed him. It could be the key, Himchannie. We are so close to find this bastard and maybe then we will also finally find Zeo's body,“ I tell him and for a moment everything is silent.

“Himchannie?“

“Ah, i am still here, sorry. That's great! I hope they will find him soon. Gukkie, I have a patient now. I am going to hang up now. We will talk later, bye.“ With that he hangs up and leaves me puzzled. He sounded nervous. Has something happened at work suddenly? I shrug it off and start making the list, Officer Jang asked me for. Himchan will tell me when anything is up.


	6. Chapter Five

 The next day I finally finishe the list and emails it to Officer Jang who wants to check on all people that are listed. While writing the list I had a bad feeling when writing down good friends and relatives but at the moment everyone is suspicious, even the ones I think highly of.

I sigh and check my phone for any messages but there are none. Himchan hasn't called me since yesterday and he is starting to worry about the psychologist. What if something happened to him, the murderer of his flower could be still killing people that are importat to him. No, I shake his head. I shouldn't think of something like this.

“You are not talking to me either, flower … Have I done anything wrong? You always told me when something I did was bothering you.“ I sigh again and hang my head after closing my laptop. I am sitting in the living room and having coffee as I feel the tender brush of a wind stroke. I lift my head, the windows are closed and the doors as well, there is no way that there could be wind.

“Flower?“ I around as another light wind stroke caresses my cheek and makes me smile again. “Flower, you are back. What? You have something to show to me?“

I stand up and follow the directions that I am given. They lead to the basement and I frown as I go downstairs into the humid, musty room. It is slightly dark, the light isn't bright enough and flickers, as it passed a while since I have changed the bulb. Still, I notice it immediately: there is something wrong with the wall. Since when is a curtain hanging there? Why is the floor so dirty? And only now I notice the weird smell in the air.

I take a few steps further towards the curtain, it's of a dirty gray, I don't recognize it and I can see slight shadows. Is something laying behind it?

I rip the curtain off and immediately wish not to have done that. My stomach contracts and the next thing I do is doubling over and throwing up even until after there is nothing left in my stomach anymore. The image in front of me is indescribable. How can someone be so cruel? He has been here, all the time and no one has noticed, not even I myself.

Over three months, I haven't noticed anything and then there is the question, how could the police not notice something that obvious?

I get to my knees, I don't care that I am kneeling beside the contents of of somach, that is nothing against what is in front of me: pieces of what he recognises is a body. I can't see everything, the murderer tried to build up the wall again but probably got lazy half way through, I don't even want to see the rest.

How cruel could someone be and do such a sick thing? “Why? What monster are you?!“

I break out in tears but that is not for long. I need to call the police, so still under tears I literally crawl upstairs to call them before losing consciousness.

I wake up and see the face of Officer Jang, around us there are a lot of busy people and the smell from the baseent now seemingly fills the entire house. I want to say so much, yell at everyone but I don't manage to say a word. “You are awake, how are you feeling?“

I signal him that I can't speak and he nods understanding. “We have found a message. The culprit tried to wash it away but as it was written with blood we could make it visible with a UV lamp. 'You will be mine.' Is there anyone you know of that has special interest in you?“  
I widen my eyes and shake my head. Will I be next?

“It is best if you rest for a while first before I continue to ask you any questions. The medical examiner will perforn an autopsy on the corpse to secure possible evidences that could lead to the murderer. Same goes for the basement. You can go to a hotel for as long as it takes if you want. And as soon as we catch this bastard, you can give your husband the funeral he deserves.“ Officer Jang explains and right now he feels like a mixture of both detective and friend to me and I am glad that he is with me right now.


	7. Epilogue

 Five days ago, I have found the leftovers of what used to be the beautiful body of my flower. I am still in shock and trying my best to help the police find hints that could lead to the murderer. At times like this, I wish that our country would still be supporting the death penalty or maybe I can make the judge transfer this sick bastard to the United States, where they still have the right panalty for cruel assholes like him.

Rapists, child abusers, murderers, they all deserve the death penalty. Bullshit with those psychological reports about being mentally incompetent and putting them into preventive detention. That are just excuses. These sick bastards belong dead.

“What are you think so hard about, Yonggukkie-yah? I told you, you need to rest. They should have known that you would get a panic attack at a hotel since you were on a business trip when it happened. Of course it would remind you of it.“ Himchan sets a cup of tea on the table in front of me. He luckily has taken me in after I screamed so hard that the entire hotel I was staying at woke up in the middle of the night and I had to be taken to the hospital for one night.

“I am fine, Himchannie. I just feel like I am missing something. You should have seen him, Himchannie … It was terrible.“ I sigh and ruffle my hair before taking the cup of tea and nipping carefully at it.

“I can imagine. But you should really rest for a while or you will really need to see a psychologist and I am sorry to say that it won't be me because I am only allowed to take in kids.“ Himchan wraps an arm around me and makes me lean on him as I sigh and nod.

Suddenly, I widen my eyes and sit up straight. “Are you serious? Why didn't you say anything earlier?“

Anger boils up inside me and I shake my head repeatedly before storming into the kitchen and ripping the drawers open in search of a suiting utensil. No, not him but … It would make sense. He is probably in love with me ever since high school and didn't like to see me together with another man. That would also explain his mood at our wedding a few years ago and his sudden disappearance for a few years.

“Gukkie, are you okay? Do you need anything?“ I can hear Himchan call for me, this sick bastard. How can he do this to me and play so innocent and caring? I almost fell for his trap and was about to ask him for a date to try. He is standing in front of me and looks at me shocked because I am holding a knife in my hand.

“I think we need to talk or rather: you need to tell me something, don't you?“ I say through my clenched teeth, glaring at him with cold eyes.

“What are you taklking about, Gukkie? Look, I told you you should get some more rest. It's probably the medication that makes you lightheaded. Set the knife aside and lay down for a while, take a nap or something. I can run you a nice bath too and light a few candles.“ He still plays innocent and I can only scoff.

“Are you seriously thinking that I am dumb, Himchan? I can hear Zelo talking to me and he just told me something very interesting. I give you one last chance to tell me, Himchan. Although that won't make any difference to how I will treat you next.“ I smirk, still glaring at him and can see how uncomfortable he becomes.

“I love you, Gukkie … I always have and I know you love me too. We are the ones that belong together.“ I start laughing maniacally. Is he really serious about that?

“So, you really did all that? You made me suffer like this? You did that to my flower only because you were hopelessly in love with me?“ I take a few steps closer to him, my knife still raised high.

He raises his hands in defense and chuckles nervously. “Come on, Yonggukkie, I did it for us. I know you love me back, Can't you feel our special bond?“

Our special bond, did he just really say that? I smirk and lower the knife before walking around him and hugging him from behind, pressing my mouth to his ear. “You are right Himchannie. How stupid of me not to realize this earlier. You did the right thing. Foolish me, to think I am made for Zelo. I was meant for you the whole time.“

“Yes, yes! I knew you would understand. We can be happy together now, Yonggukie. Just don't tell on me. Let's move to a different city or a different country and start a new life together.“ Himchan sounds too happy in my ears and I would love to throw up on him but I have to play this game now. I move my lips to his neck and grab a fistful of his hair to tilt his head back as I move my tongue over his skin, making him close his eyes and moan softly.

“Yes, together forever, Himchannie.“ I whisper and nip at his skin in time with raising my knife before pressing it against his skin. I hear him gasp and I bet he has his eyes wide open as I slit through his neck and hear the gurgling sound of satisfaction. I let him fall to the ground and watch his shocked face and the blood that gushes out and pools around him.

“Never in any other life. You robbed me of my husband, you monster.“ I spit at him and go to sit on the couch and lay back, the knife still in my hand.

“We will be reunited in a few seconds, my flower. If you told me earlier … You wanted me to find out by myself? Are you serious? What have I done to you to deserve that? … You let me see your dead body! You are something … Wait until I get you, love.“ I take a deep breath and open my eyes again as I pull up my sleeves and press the blade to my wrist before cutting it deeply with a hiss escaping my lips. I do the same with my other wrist and smile as I wait until I fall into a deep sleep I would never wake up off with the thoughts of finally being reunited with my flower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will make the chapters longer once I got time! Comments are loved anyways <3


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